It's not uncommon for biological parents to feel hesitant or uncomfortable about communicating directly with their child's stepmom, even after a significant amount of time has passed. There could be several reasons for this behavior:
Jealousy or Insecurity: The biological mom might feel a sense of jealousy or insecurity about your relationship with her child. She may worry that her child is becoming closer to you or that you are taking on a role that she perceives as her own.
Fear of Being Replaced: Some biological parents may fear that the stepmom will try to replace them in the child's life, which can create tension and resistance to direct communication.
Past Issues: If there were previous conflicts or unresolved issues between the biological mom and stepmom, it might be challenging for her to initiate direct communication.
Lack of Trust: Establishing trust can be difficult in blended family situations, especially if there have been disagreements or misunderstandings in the past.
Boundary Concerns: The biological mom might have concerns about boundaries and the level of involvement of the stepmom in her child's life.
Emotional Barriers: Sometimes, people find it difficult to communicate openly about their feelings, especially in sensitive family dynamics.
Cultural or Social Norms: In some cultures or social circles, interacting with a stepmom might be perceived differently or be against traditional norms.
To address this situation, here are some suggestions:
Respect Boundaries: Be understanding of her feelings and personal boundaries. Give her space and time to come to terms with the situation.
Encourage Positive Interactions: If you have opportunities to interact with the biological mom, be kind, respectful, and positive in your interactions.
Focus on the Child: Keep the focus on what's best for the child. Show her that your intentions are genuine and that you want to support a healthy and happy environment for the child.
Support Open Communication: Encourage open communication between the biological parents and be willing to facilitate discussions if appropriate.
Seek Mediation: If there are significant issues preventing direct communication, suggest the possibility of family therapy or mediation to address concerns and foster a better understanding between all parties.
Keep a Positive Attitude: Be patient and maintain a positive attitude. It may take time for the biological mom to feel more comfortable with direct communication.
Remember that every family dynamic is unique, and it's essential to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Be mindful of the child's feelings and well-being throughout this process. In some cases, direct communication might never be fully established, but as long as there is respect and cooperation for the child's sake, that can be a positive step towards a healthy family environment.