I can offer some general insights that may help you understand the situation better.
If your girlfriend mentioned that she is detaching because you spent time with your friends instead of staying with her until she fell asleep, it could indicate that she feels a sense of neglect or emotional distance. This situation might be triggering feelings of insecurity or anxiety within her.
Here are a few possible reasons why she might be reacting this way:
Emotional needs: Your girlfriend may have specific emotional needs that she expects you to fulfill, such as feeling supported, prioritized, or comforted. If she perceives that you prioritized spending time with friends over being with her, she might feel unimportant or disregarded.
Previous experiences: Past experiences, such as feeling abandoned or ignored, might be influencing her reaction to your actions. These past experiences can cause her to be more sensitive to situations where she perceives a lack of attention or connection.
Communication issues: There could be a communication gap between both of you. It's possible that she didn't express her desire for you to stay with her, and you didn't fully understand her needs.
Attachment style: Different individuals have various attachment styles that dictate how they approach relationships. If your girlfriend has an anxious attachment style, she might be more likely to seek reassurance and closeness, and any perceived distance can trigger anxiety.
Insecurity: Insecurity can lead to seeking constant validation and reassurance from a partner. If she is feeling insecure in the relationship, she might be more sensitive to situations where she perceives you are not fully engaged with her.
To address this situation, consider having an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend. Ask her about her feelings and concerns, and listen actively without becoming defensive. It's important to validate her emotions and let her know that you care about her needs and feelings. Reassure her of your commitment to the relationship and try to understand her perspective.
Also, discuss your perspective and feelings about the situation to help her understand your point of view as well. This can lead to better communication and a deeper understanding of each other's needs and expectations. Working together to find a balance between spending time with friends and nurturing the relationship can help build trust and strengthen your bond.