Question

We've been married for 30 years. She has been exploring past traumas and ever since snaps at me constantly as if I was her father. Celibacy has been an active divide for the past 3 years. Her last words: I have nothing to say to you. Is it over?

Answer 1

It sounds like you and your wife are going through a challenging and emotionally complex situation. If your wife is exploring past traumas and it is affecting her behavior towards you, it might be beneficial for both of you to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and relationship issues.

Here are some steps you might consider:

1. Encourage open communication: Express your concern for her well-being and your willingness to support her through this difficult time. Encourage her to share her thoughts and feelings when she is ready.

2. Seek therapy or counseling: Suggest attending therapy or counseling together. A professional can help guide you both through the process of addressing past traumas and how they might be influencing your relationship dynamics.

3. Practice empathy and patience: Trauma can have a profound impact on a person's emotional state and behavior. Try to be understanding and patient while your wife works through her issues.

4. Take care of yourself: Supporting someone through trauma can be emotionally draining. Make sure you also take care of your emotional well-being and seek support for yourself if needed.

5. Reevaluate the relationship: After putting in effort to address the issues, if your wife continues to show no interest in engaging or working on the relationship, it may be time to reevaluate where things stand. Sometimes, despite the best efforts, a relationship may reach a point where both individuals need to make difficult decisions.

Ultimately, it's essential to remember that every situation is unique, and seeking professional guidance is vital in such sensitive matters. A therapist or counselor can help you both navigate this challenging period and assess the best course of action moving forward.

If you're unsure about how to approach the situation or if you're feeling overwhelmed, consider talking to a mental health professional or seeking support from friends and family. Remember that taking care of your mental and emotional well-being is crucial during difficult times like these.