Question

My wife of 12 years says she needs space. She doesn’t speak, only hangs with our 6-year-old then goes to bed around 7pm. It’s been 4 months of this. Should we divorce?

Answer 1

The decision of whether to divorce is a significant and complex one that should be carefully considered. It's essential to approach the situation with empathy, communication, and seeking professional guidance if needed. Here are some steps to consider:

1. Communication: It's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about her feelings and the current state of your relationship. Try to create a safe space where she can express her needs and concerns without judgment.

2. Seek professional help: Consider couples therapy or marriage counseling to help facilitate productive conversations and gain insights into your relationship dynamics. A trained therapist can offer guidance on how to navigate through challenging times.

3. Give her space: Respect her request for space, but also express your desire to work through the issues together. Let her know you are willing to give her the time and support she needs while expressing your commitment to the relationship.

4. Reflect on the relationship: Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and needs in the relationship. Consider what you both want and need from each other to create a healthier, more fulfilling partnership.

5. Evaluate the long-term pattern: Four months of minimal communication and disengagement is a significant period, but consider if this is a temporary phase or part of a long-term pattern of issues in the relationship.

6. Consider professional help for your child: If the situation is affecting your child, it might be helpful to seek support for them, such as counseling, to help them cope with the changes.

7. Be patient: Resolving complex relationship issues takes time, and patience is essential during this process. Rushing into a decision like divorce may not be the best solution without thoroughly exploring all options.

8. Take care of yourself: During this difficult time, it's crucial to prioritize self-care and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to process your emotions and thoughts.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to divorce or work on the relationship is one that only you and your wife can make together. Take the time needed to communicate openly, seek professional help, and consider the best course of action for both of you and your child's well-being.