When your ex-husband says he only wants what is best for your children but doesn't spend time with them, it can be a confusing and contradictory statement. Several possible interpretations could explain this behavior:
Lack of Understanding: Your ex-husband might genuinely believe that providing financial support or fulfilling basic needs is enough to be considered "what is best" for the children. He may not fully comprehend the importance of emotional support and spending quality time with them.
Prioritizing Work or Other Commitments: It's possible that your ex-husband is preoccupied with work or other personal commitments, which leaves him with limited time for the children. In such cases, he might feel that he is doing his best within his constraints.
Emotional Disconnect: Sometimes, individuals might struggle with emotional connections or have difficulty expressing their love and care for their children, even though they may genuinely wish the best for them.
Guilt and Defense Mechanism: Your ex-husband's statement might be a way of justifying his limited involvement with the children. By saying he wants what is best for them, he might be trying to alleviate feelings of guilt about not being more present.
Communication Breakdown: Miscommunication or a lack of clear expectations regarding co-parenting roles and responsibilities might contribute to this situation.
Regardless of the reasons, it is crucial to address this issue for the well-being of the children involved. Here are some steps to consider:
Open Communication: Initiate a calm and open conversation with your ex-husband about your concerns. Express how you believe spending quality time with the children is essential for their emotional development and well-being.
Shared Expectations: Discuss and establish shared expectations for co-parenting. Ensure both of you are on the same page regarding the level of involvement and time spent with the children.
Encourage Involvement: Encourage your ex-husband to participate in activities that interest the children. Support and facilitate their bonding moments.
Seek Mediation or Counseling: If communication proves challenging, consider seeking the assistance of a mediator or a family counselor to facilitate discussions and find common ground.
Lead by Example: Demonstrate active involvement in your children's lives and encourage your ex-husband to follow your lead.
Remember that co-parenting requires ongoing communication, compromise, and flexibility. Putting the children's well-being at the forefront is essential, and ensuring they have meaningful connections with both parents is vital for their healthy development.