I can offer some general advice for someone facing this situation.
If your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to open the relationship/marriage, it's essential to approach the situation with open communication and empathy. Here are some steps you can consider:
Listen and understand: Give your partner the space to express their feelings and reasons for wanting to open the relationship. Listen without judgment and try to understand their perspective.
Reflect on your feelings: Take some time to process your own emotions about the situation. Opening a relationship can trigger various emotions, such as fear, jealousy, or insecurity. Acknowledge your feelings and try to understand the root causes behind them.
Communicate your boundaries: If you're uncomfortable with the idea of an open relationship, be honest about your feelings and set clear boundaries. It's crucial to express your needs and concerns in a respectful manner.
Seek compromise: Try to find a middle ground that works for both of you, if possible. This might involve discussing specific boundaries, rules, or guidelines for the open relationship, or even considering other alternatives to address your partner's needs.
Consider professional help: If the conversation becomes difficult or you both feel stuck, couples counseling or therapy can be beneficial. A therapist can help facilitate productive communication and provide guidance for navigating complex emotions.
Take time to decide: Don't rush into any decisions. Take the time you need to process your emotions and thoughts before making any major choices about the relationship.
Ultimately, whether or not to open the relationship is a decision that should be made together. It's essential to prioritize both partners' feelings, needs, and well-being during this process. If, after honest and open communication, you find that your relationship goals and desires are fundamentally incompatible, you may need to consider the possibility of parting ways amicably.