I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing these distressing thoughts. It's important to understand that having intrusive or distressing thoughts does not make you a bad person, but it's essential to address them appropriately and seek help from mental health professionals.
Here are some steps you can take to cope with intrusive thoughts:
Don't Judge Yourself: Remember that these thoughts are not a reflection of your character or values. They are a symptom of a mental health issue that needs attention.
Seek Professional Help: Reach out to a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, who can help you understand and manage these thoughts. They can provide support and appropriate treatment.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness and meditation techniques can help you observe your thoughts without getting entangled in them. This can create some distance and reduce the distress they cause.
Identify Triggers: Pay attention to situations or triggers that worsen these thoughts and try to avoid or minimize exposure to them.
Distraction Techniques: Engage in activities that can distract you from these thoughts, such as hobbies, exercise, or spending time with loved ones.
Support Network: Talk to someone you trust about what you're going through. Sharing your feelings with a supportive friend or family member can help alleviate some of the burden.
Create a Safety Plan: If you ever feel like you might act on these thoughts, have a safety plan in place. Reach out to someone you trust or call emergency services immediately.
Avoid Isolation: Isolating yourself can worsen the thoughts. Stay connected with others and seek social support.
Remember that it's essential to seek professional help as soon as possible. Intrusive thoughts of this nature might be associated with conditions like Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and therapy can be highly effective in managing such conditions. A mental health professional can provide a proper diagnosis and tailor a treatment plan to address your specific needs.
If you are in immediate distress or danger of harming yourself or others, please seek help immediately by calling emergency services in your country or going to the nearest hospital. Your safety is a top priority, and there are people who can support you through difficult times.