Therapy is indeed about the therapeutic relationship, and a good therapeutic alliance is crucial for effective treatment. The therapist-client relationship provides a safe and supportive space for you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Feeling like you might be "too much" for your therapist is not an uncommon concern, especially for individuals with complex or challenging life circumstances, such as trauma.
It's important to remember that therapists are trained professionals who are equipped to handle a wide range of emotions and experiences from their clients. They are prepared to hold space for you and help you navigate through difficult times. Therapists understand that life can be messy and complicated, and their role is to be there for you as you work through your challenges.
It's also essential to communicate your feelings and concerns with your therapist openly. Discussing your worries about being "too much" can be a valuable part of the therapeutic process. A skilled therapist will be receptive to your feedback and work with you to address any issues you may have about the therapeutic relationship.
Additionally, finding a therapist who is a good fit for you is crucial. Not all therapists approach therapy in the same way, and each therapist has their own style and approach. If you feel that the therapists you've seen in the past were not meeting your needs or understanding your concerns, it might be worth exploring other therapists who may have different therapeutic styles or philosophies.
Remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and your voice and needs matter. It's okay to advocate for yourself and seek a therapist who aligns better with your requirements and therapeutic goals. Developing a sense of dependence on the therapeutic relationship can indeed be an important part of personal growth and healing, and a supportive therapist can help guide you through that process.