Feeling a strong attachment to your therapist is not uncommon and can be a natural part of the therapeutic process. The therapeutic relationship is built on trust, empathy, and understanding, which can lead to feelings of connection and closeness. However, the nature of this attachment can vary from person to person and may be influenced by various factors, including past experiences, personal vulnerabilities, and the therapeutic approach being used.
The intensity of the attachment may result in feelings of emotional dependency on the therapist, and this can lead to experiencing pain or discomfort when you're not in therapy sessions. These feelings might be challenging to manage, particularly when the therapeutic relationship feels like a safe and supportive space for you.
On the other hand, finding it hard to get started each time you meet could be related to various factors:
Transference and Resistance: The feelings of attachment may lead to transference, where you unconsciously transfer feelings from past relationships onto your therapist. This can influence your behavior and emotions during sessions, leading to resistance or avoidance.
Fear of Vulnerability: Starting each session may feel challenging because therapy often involves delving into deep emotional and personal issues. This vulnerability can be intimidating, causing reluctance to open up at the beginning of sessions.
Ambivalence: You might have conflicting feelings about therapy and the therapeutic relationship. While you may deeply value the connection, you might also fear the potential emotional pain that could arise from discussing difficult topics.
Attachment Styles: Your attachment style, which is formed early in life based on your experiences with caregivers, can influence your interactions with others, including your therapist. An anxious attachment style, for example, can lead to a stronger need for closeness and fear of abandonment.
To address these issues and improve the therapeutic process:
Discuss Your Feelings: Talk openly with your therapist about the attachment and any challenges you face in between sessions or at the beginning of each session. Trust is crucial in therapy, and your therapist can help you navigate these emotions.
Explore Transference: Understanding and working through transference can be a significant aspect of therapy. By recognizing the patterns and emotions tied to past relationships, you can gain insight into your current feelings and reactions.
Establish Boundaries: Maintaining healthy boundaries in therapy is essential. Your therapist can help you establish appropriate boundaries and develop coping strategies for dealing with intense emotions.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these feelings. Recognize that therapy can be challenging, and it's okay to experience ups and downs along the way.
Consider Therapy Modalities: Different therapeutic approaches might be better suited to address attachment issues and emotional challenges. Your therapist can adapt the treatment to your specific needs.
Remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and open communication with your therapist is vital for achieving meaningful progress and addressing these attachment-related difficulties.