A person with complex childhood trauma may shut down when their therapist tells them they are proud of them due to various reasons related to their past experiences and current emotional state:
Emotional overwhelm: Hearing positive affirmations, especially from a therapist, can be overwhelming for someone with complex childhood trauma. They may not have received much validation or praise in their early years, so when confronted with positive emotions, they might not know how to process or handle them.
Fear of vulnerability: People with complex childhood trauma may have learned to suppress their emotions and vulnerability as a way to protect themselves from potential harm or rejection. When a therapist expresses pride, it might feel like an emotional exposure, making them feel exposed and unsafe.
Low self-worth: Trauma can severely impact a person's self-esteem and self-worth. Even when receiving praise, they might not believe they deserve it or feel like an imposter. They may struggle to internalize positive feedback because it conflicts with the negative self-perceptions they developed during their traumatic experiences.
Trust issues: Complex childhood trauma can lead to deep-seated trust issues. When a therapist expresses pride or positive emotions, the individual may feel suspicious or doubtful about the therapist's sincerity or intentions, causing them to withdraw or shut down.
Attachment issues: Trauma can disrupt healthy attachment patterns, making it challenging for the individual to connect with others on an emotional level. Positive affirmations may trigger feelings of fear or confusion, leading to emotional withdrawal.
Emotional regulation difficulties: Those with complex childhood trauma may struggle with regulating their emotions, especially when confronted with intense or conflicting feelings. Receiving praise might trigger a range of emotions they find challenging to process, leading to a shutdown as a coping mechanism.
Fear of rejection: If a person has experienced rejection or abandonment in their past, receiving positive feedback might be perceived as a setup for future disappointment. As a defense mechanism, they might shut down to protect themselves from potential rejection or to avoid becoming emotionally dependent on their therapist.
Avoidance of vulnerability: Expressing emotions and receiving validation can make a person feel vulnerable. For someone with a history of trauma, being vulnerable can be anxiety-provoking and evoke memories of past hurts, leading them to shut down emotionally.
It's essential for therapists working with individuals with complex childhood trauma to be aware of these potential reactions and to approach therapy with sensitivity and empathy. Creating a safe and trusting therapeutic environment can help the person gradually open up and work through their trauma-related challenges. Patience and understanding are crucial as healing from complex childhood trauma is a long and delicate process.