Transference is a psychological phenomenon in therapy where a client's feelings and emotions from past relationships are unconsciously redirected towards the therapist. It can be positive, negative, or even ambivalent. When a client experiences transference, they might start to see their therapist through the lens of significant figures from their past, such as a parent, caregiver, or someone with whom they had a strong emotional connection.
In the situation you described, it appears that you developed positive transference feelings towards your therapist, indicating that you may have seen her as a nurturing figure or someone you could depend on for emotional support. When you expressed missing her while she was away, it likely triggered a response that made her feel uncomfortable for a few reasons:
Boundaries: Therapists need to maintain professional boundaries in therapy to ensure that the focus remains on the client's needs and growth. Acknowledging and addressing your transference feelings is an essential part of the therapeutic process, but your therapist must also guide you towards developing self-reliance and emotional independence. Redirecting the focus back to you and your emotions helps you build resilience and self-awareness.
Countertransference: Therapists have their emotions and reactions, known as countertransference, in response to the client's transference. In this case, your therapist might have felt uneasy or unsure about how to respond to your expression of missing her while also adhering to therapeutic boundaries. Managing countertransference is an essential aspect of a therapist's training and practice.
Therapeutic process: Expressing feelings of attachment and dependence towards the therapist can be an essential part of therapy, as it can help uncover underlying emotions and patterns. However, the therapist needs to strike a balance between validating your emotions and guiding you towards internalizing emotional support and resilience.
It's important to remember that your therapist's response is not a rejection of your feelings or emotions. Instead, it's a way to navigate the therapeutic relationship in a manner that benefits your growth and wellbeing. Discussing your feelings of transference with your therapist openly can lead to a deeper understanding of these emotions and how they relate to your past experiences and current struggles. In a safe and supportive therapeutic environment, exploring transference can be a valuable and transformative part of the therapeutic journey.