When therapists insist on having you talk about something instead of giving advice right away, it is likely because they believe in the process of self-discovery and understanding. Therapists often use a client-centered approach, where they prioritize active listening, empathy, and helping you explore your thoughts and emotions rather than immediately offering solutions or advice. This approach allows you to gain deeper insights into your feelings, behaviors, and patterns, leading to long-lasting and meaningful change.
If you find yourself wanting advice or direct solutions from your therapist but they encourage you to talk more, here are some things you can consider saying to express your feelings or seek clarification:
Express your thoughts and emotions: Share your feelings about wanting advice and why it's important to you. For example, you could say, "I appreciate the opportunity to talk and explore my feelings, but I'm also looking for some guidance or concrete suggestions on how to handle this situation."
Seek clarification: If you're unsure about the therapist's approach, you can ask for clarification. For example, you might say, "I understand the importance of self-discovery, but can you explain how this process will help me with the challenges I'm facing?"
Be open about your needs: Let your therapist know what you hope to achieve from the session and what support you require. This could be, "I'm looking for some practical strategies to cope with anxiety. Can we explore that together?"
Discuss your expectations: Share any expectations you may have about the therapeutic process and what you believe would be helpful for you. This could be, "I've had experience with therapy before, and in the past, advice or coping techniques were useful. Can we try incorporating some of those techniques as well?"
Collaborate with your therapist: Therapeutic relationships work best when there is open communication and collaboration. Express your willingness to engage in the therapeutic process and explore different approaches. This might sound like, "I'm willing to explore my feelings, and I'm also open to trying different strategies or exercises if you think they could be beneficial."
Remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and it's essential to communicate your needs and preferences to your therapist. They are there to support you, and honest communication will help them better understand how to assist you effectively. Trusting the therapeutic process and allowing yourself to engage in self-discovery can often lead to valuable insights and personal growth. If, however, you feel that the therapeutic approach isn't meeting your needs, you can discuss your concerns with your therapist or consider exploring other therapeutic modalities or practitioners.