Therapists are bound by professional ethics, which require maintaining clear boundaries with their clients. Expressing a desire for a personal, loving relationship with a client, such as a father-child dynamic, can be seen as crossing those boundaries.
Here are some possible reasons for your therapist's reaction:
Boundaries: Therapists are trained to maintain professional boundaries to ensure that the therapy remains focused on the client's needs and goals. Expressing a desire for a personal, loving relationship can make it difficult for the therapist to provide unbiased and objective support.
Countertransference: Therapists can experience countertransference, which means having emotional reactions to their clients. Your therapist may have felt uncomfortable or overwhelmed by your disclosure and needed to process his own feelings before responding appropriately.
Avoiding dependency: Therapy is designed to empower clients to develop self-reliance and independence. Expressing a desire for your therapist's love could indicate a desire for dependency, which goes against the therapeutic goals.
Emotional processing: Crying and seeking comfort might be natural responses to your emotional vulnerability in that moment. However, therapists sometimes avoid offering immediate comfort to give space for clients to process emotions independently.
Reassessing therapy goals: Your therapist might have felt the need to reassess the direction of therapy and explore the underlying reasons behind your desire for his love.
It's essential to understand that therapy is primarily a professional relationship, and therapists are not there to fulfill personal relationship roles in their clients' lives. However, your therapist should be open to discussing your feelings, exploring their origins, and finding healthier ways to address them.
If this interaction has left you feeling upset or confused, it's important to communicate those feelings with your therapist openly. Honest communication can help clarify misunderstandings and foster a more productive therapeutic relationship. If you find it challenging to discuss your feelings with your current therapist, consider seeking guidance from another mental health professional to process your emotions and thoughts in a safe and supportive environment.