Feeling a mix of emotions like sadness, empathy, and love for your therapist after a session where the therapeutic frame was not held can be a natural response. Let's break down each aspect:
Sadness: You might feel sad because you expected a certain level of professionalism and therapeutic boundaries from your therapist, and the breach of the therapeutic frame could have left you feeling disappointed or let down.
Empathy: Empathizing with your therapist's apology and recognizing that they are also human, capable of making mistakes, is a sign of emotional understanding and compassion. It's normal to empathize with others, even our therapists, when they acknowledge their imperfections.
Love: Feeling a sense of affection or attachment towards your therapist is not uncommon, especially when therapy involves opening up emotionally and exploring deep personal issues. This emotional connection can develop as a result of feeling understood and supported.
Wanting to know more about your therapist's motivations can be a natural curiosity, but it's essential to be mindful of the purpose behind this curiosity. In the context of therapy, it's generally more productive to focus on your own emotions, reactions, and needs rather than delving into your therapist's personal motivations.
Here are some points to consider:
Therapeutic Relationship: The primary focus of therapy should be on your emotional well-being and personal growth. While it's natural to have some curiosity about your therapist, redirecting the focus back to yourself and exploring your feelings about the therapeutic process is more likely to be helpful to your therapy.
Transference: Your feelings of love or attachment towards your therapist might be a form of transference, which is a common phenomenon in therapy. Transference occurs when feelings and emotions from past relationships are unconsciously projected onto the therapist. Discussing these feelings with your therapist can lead to valuable insights into your own emotional patterns.
Boundary Awareness: Understanding the boundaries between you and your therapist is an essential aspect of the therapeutic process. While some therapists may share limited personal information for therapeutic purposes, the primary focus should remain on your needs and experiences.
Open Communication: If you find that your feelings towards your therapist are significantly affecting your therapy, it's essential to communicate openly with your therapist about them. Honest communication can lead to a deeper understanding of the therapeutic relationship and facilitate growth and healing.
In conclusion, your emotions and reactions in therapy are valid and can be used as valuable material to explore during your sessions. Redirecting the focus back to yourself and your feelings can be more beneficial than trying to understand your therapist's motivations. Always remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and open communication with your therapist is key to making the most of your therapeutic experience.