Fear of intimacy or commitment: A fear of getting too close or being vulnerable with someone may lead to seeking unavailable partners as a way to avoid deeper emotional connections.
Low self-esteem or self-worth: Individuals with low self-esteem may believe they don't deserve a healthy, loving relationship and may gravitate towards unavailable partners who reinforce this negative self-image.
Desire for unattainable love: For some, pursuing unattainable love may feel safer as it keeps them from risking rejection or facing the challenges of a real, intimate relationship.
Negative relationship patterns: Past experiences or role models may have shaped beliefs about what love should be, leading to unconsciously seeking out unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Fear of losing friendships: Exploring a romantic relationship with a close friend can be daunting, as there may be fears of ruining the friendship if the romantic aspect doesn't work out.
It's important to recognize that these patterns and behaviors are complex and unique to each individual. In therapy, your therapist might have been trying to help you become aware of these patterns and explore the underlying emotions and beliefs driving your relationship choices. Understanding these patterns can empower you to make healthier choices in your relationships and address any emotional challenges that arise.
If you have further questions or concerns about your therapy or the insights your therapist provided, consider discussing them openly with your therapist to gain a clearer understanding of their perspective and to collaborate on your therapeutic journey.