Feeling nervous and experiencing physical symptoms like breathlessness before a psychotherapy session, even when you look forward to it, is not uncommon. There are several potential reasons for these feelings:
Emotional Vulnerability: Psychotherapy sessions involve discussing personal and sometimes emotionally challenging topics. Opening up about your feelings, thoughts, and experiences can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, leading to feelings of nervousness.
Fear of Judgment: There might be a fear of being judged by the therapist. You may worry about how the therapist will perceive you or what they might think about your experiences. This fear can trigger anxiety and nervousness.
Unconscious Resistance: On a subconscious level, you might be resisting the process of therapy, even though you consciously recognize its benefits. Some part of you might be hesitant about delving into certain issues or facing unresolved emotions.
Anticipation of Change: Therapy is a process that often involves self-exploration and growth. While you may look forward to the positive changes that therapy can bring, the anticipation of change can also be anxiety-provoking, as it involves stepping out of your comfort zone.
Transference and Attachment: Depending on your past experiences and attachment styles, you might experience transference in therapy. Transference is when you unconsciously transfer feelings and expectations from significant past relationships onto the therapist. These feelings can be both positive and negative and can influence your emotional state before sessions.
Physiological Response: Nervousness and breathlessness can also be physiological responses to stress and anxiety. Your body's fight-or-flight response might be activated due to the anticipation of the therapy session.
Process of Self-Reflection: The moments before a therapy session can be a time of self-reflection. You may be considering what you want to discuss, what issues are most pressing, or what emotions you're currently experiencing. This process of introspection can bring up feelings of anxiety.
It's important to remember that feeling nervous or anxious before therapy is normal and doesn't diminish the value of the therapeutic process. In fact, it can be a sign that you are engaged and taking the sessions seriously. As you build trust and rapport with your therapist over time, these feelings may lessen.
If these feelings persist or significantly interfere with your ability to engage in therapy, consider discussing them with your therapist. They can provide support and help you explore the underlying reasons for your nervousness. Additionally, your therapist can suggest coping strategies to manage pre-session anxiety and make the therapy experience more comfortable for you.