It's important to approach complex situations like this with sensitivity and caution, as understanding the motives and actions of individuals with personality disorders can be challenging. It's essential to remember that I am not a mental health professional, and any assessment I provide is based on general knowledge .
That being said, some possible reasons why a person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) might become obsessed with a partner who has humiliated, ruined their reputation, and cheated with their friends could include:
Narcissistic Injury: When a narcissist experiences humiliation or criticism, they can respond with intense emotional pain and a sense of wounded pride. The obsession with the partner who caused the injury could be driven by a desire to regain a sense of control and power over the situation.
Idealization-Devaluation Cycle: In many narcissistic relationships, there is a pattern of idealizing the partner (putting them on a pedestal) followed by devaluing them (seeing them as worthless or bad). The cycle might repeat multiple times, and the narcissist may oscillate between intense love and hate for their partner.
Lack of Empathy and Manipulation: A person with NPD and ASPD may have difficulty empathizing with others, making it challenging for them to let go of a relationship, even if it is toxic. They might also manipulate situations to maintain control or exert dominance over their partner.
Fear of Abandonment: Underneath their grandiose exterior, individuals with NPD may have a deep fear of abandonment. This fear could lead them to pursue relationships, even if they are harmful, in an attempt to avoid being alone.
Desire for Control and Revenge: Individuals with ASPD and narcissistic traits may seek revenge against those who they believe have wronged them. Their obsession with the partner could be driven by a desire for control and a need to retaliate for perceived slights.
Unhealthy Attachment Patterns: Sometimes, individuals with personality disorders can develop unhealthy and dysfunctional attachment patterns. These patterns may lead them to stay fixated on a partner, regardless of the negative consequences.
It's crucial to remember that everyone's situation is unique, and there could be other factors contributing to the individual's behavior. If you or someone you know is dealing with a situation involving narcissism, abuse, or any mental health concerns, seeking professional help from a therapist, counselor, or mental health expert is crucial. They can provide individualized support and guidance based on the specific circumstances.