The statement made by your therapist, saying she is not supposed to have feelings and that having feelings would make her a bad therapist, is concerning and can be a cause for concern. While it is true that therapists are trained to maintain professional boundaries and not let their personal feelings interfere with the therapeutic process, it is also important for therapists to have empathy and compassion for their clients.
Therapists are human beings, and it is natural for them to have emotions. In fact, empathy and emotional attunement are crucial for building a strong therapeutic relationship and providing effective therapy. A therapist who completely denies their emotions might have difficulty connecting with their clients on a deeper level and understanding their experiences fully.
If you feel uncomfortable or concerned about your therapist's approach, it is essential to address these feelings with her or consider seeking a second opinion from another therapist. Therapy is a collaborative process, and the therapeutic relationship is a significant factor in its success. If you do not feel heard or understood by your current therapist, it may hinder your progress in therapy.
Here are some steps you can take:
Communicate your feelings: Share your concerns and feelings with your therapist. Open communication is essential in the therapeutic process, and your therapist should be receptive to your feedback.
Seek clarification: Ask your therapist to clarify her statement. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding, and she might be able to provide more context to her comment.
Consider finding a new therapist: If you still feel uneasy about the therapeutic relationship or if your concerns are not adequately addressed, it may be beneficial to find a new therapist who better aligns with your needs and expectations.
Talk to a trusted individual: Discuss your feelings with someone you trust, such as a friend or family member, to gain perspective and support.
Remember that therapy is about your well-being, and finding the right therapist is essential for a positive and productive experience. A skilled therapist should be able to balance professionalism with genuine empathy and emotional support. If you feel that your current therapist's approach is hindering your progress or well-being, it is entirely appropriate to explore other options to find the best fit for your needs.