In the context of narcissistic abuse, "flying monkeys" refer to individuals who support the narcissist and enable their behavior. These individuals may act as enablers, defenders, or allies of the narcissist, often perpetuating the abuse or dismissing the victim's concerns.
It is possible for flying monkeys, including your father, to exacerbate the situation and behave worse than the narcissist, particularly if they are heavily influenced by the narcissist's manipulations and tactics. When the abuse is exposed, some flying monkeys may feel loyalty to the narcissist or fear repercussions if they show support to the victim, leading them to adopt aggressive or dismissive behavior towards the victim.
It's essential to understand that each individual's behavior is influenced by their own personality, beliefs, and experiences. While your father's behavior is hurtful and harmful, it may not necessarily make him worse than your narcissistic mother; he could be acting out of fear, misguided loyalty, or his own unresolved issues.
Here are some suggestions on how to cope with such a situation:
Focus on self-care: Dealing with family issues and abuse can be emotionally draining. Take care of yourself by seeking support from friends, therapy, or support groups. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with both your mother and father to protect yourself from further emotional harm. Communicate your boundaries calmly and assertively.
Seek professional support: A therapist or counselor can help you navigate the complexities of family dynamics, abuse, and how to cope with the aftermath of exposing the abuse.
Avoid engaging with flying monkeys: Trying to reason or seek validation from flying monkeys may be futile and emotionally exhausting. Instead, focus on healing and finding support from healthier sources.
Surround yourself with supportive people: Seek out friends or family members who understand and validate your experiences. Positive relationships can provide emotional strength during difficult times.
Consider limited contact or distance: If it becomes too challenging to deal with the dynamics at home, you may need to consider limiting contact or creating some physical or emotional distance to protect yourself.
Remember that healing from the effects of narcissistic abuse can be a long and challenging process. Be patient with yourself, and prioritize your well-being as you work towards building a healthier and happier life for yourself.