Hoovering and stalking are both behaviors that can be associated with individuals who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), but they are distinct actions with different motivations and purposes.
- Hoovering: Hoovering is a term used to describe a manipulative tactic employed by individuals with NPD or other manipulative tendencies. It refers to their efforts to draw a previous romantic partner or someone they have had a close relationship with back into their life. The term "hoovering" comes from the Hoover vacuum cleaner brand, suggesting that the person with NPD is attempting to "suck" the other person back in.
This behavior typically occurs after a breakup or when the target has distanced themselves from the individual with NPD. Hoovering can involve various manipulative tactics, such as:
- Love bombing: Overwhelming the target with affection, compliments, and promises to change.
- Guilt-tripping: Making the target feel guilty for leaving or not giving the individual with NPD another chance.
- Gaslighting: Manipulating the target's perception of reality to make them doubt their own judgment and decisions.
- Pity plays: Presenting oneself as a victim to gain sympathy and emotional support from the target.
The primary goal of hoovering is to reestablish control over the target and satisfy the individual with NPD's need for admiration and validation.
- Stalking: Stalking is a pattern of unwanted and intrusive behaviors, often repeated and persistent, aimed at a specific individual. Stalking can occur in various contexts, including romantic relationships, former relationships, acquaintances, or even strangers. While some individuals with NPD or ASPD may engage in stalking behaviors, not all stalkers have these personality disorders.
Stalking behaviors can include:
- Following the target or tracking their movements.
- Monitoring the target's online presence, such as social media accounts or email.
- Sending excessive and unsolicited messages or gifts.
- Invading the target's privacy by going through personal belongings or property.
Stalking is driven by an obsessive need for control, power, or dominance over the target. It can be highly distressing and dangerous for the victim, as stalking behavior can escalate into threats, harassment, and physical harm.
In summary, hoovering is a manipulative tactic used by individuals with NPD to draw a previous partner or close individual back into their life to regain control and validation. On the other hand, stalking is a pattern of intrusive and unwanted behaviors aimed at a specific target, often driven by an obsessive need for control and power. While individuals with NPD or ASPD may engage in stalking, it is essential to recognize that stalking behaviors can be displayed by individuals with various motivations and mental health issues. Stalking is generally illegal and can have severe consequences for both the perpetrator and the victim.