If you have experienced a significant change in your beliefs, especially related to religious or spiritual matters, it could be influenced by various factors, including personal experiences, emotions, and psychological processes. There are a few potential explanations for why you might suddenly believe in angels but not in God, particularly considering your history of psychosis:
Coping mechanism: Belief in angels or spiritual beings might be a way to cope with difficult or challenging life events. These beliefs can provide comfort, hope, and a sense of protection during challenging times.
Personal experiences: Sometimes, personal experiences or encounters that cannot be easily explained can lead to a shift in beliefs. You might have experienced something that you interpret as an angelic presence, which can influence your beliefs in this direction.
Cultural and social influences: Cultural and social factors can play a significant role in shaping our beliefs. You might have been exposed to certain ideas or narratives that emphasize angels more than a traditional concept of God.
Symbolic representation: Belief in angels might represent something deeper than the literal belief in winged beings. It could symbolize the presence of benevolence, guidance, or protection in your life, even if you don't necessarily attribute it to a higher power.
Regarding your history of psychosis, it's essential to recognize that mental health conditions can impact a person's perceptions, thoughts, and beliefs. Psychotic experiences may involve hallucinations, delusions, or other altered perceptions of reality. These experiences can sometimes lead to unconventional beliefs or interpretations of the world around you.
If you find that your beliefs are causing distress or interfering with your daily life, it's crucial to seek support from a mental health professional. They can provide a safe space to discuss your experiences, help you explore the reasons behind your changing beliefs, and offer appropriate guidance or interventions if necessary.
Remember that beliefs can be deeply personal and can evolve over time. It's essential to approach these changes with self-compassion and understanding, while also taking care of your mental well-being. If you have concerns about your mental health or beliefs, seeking professional help is highly recommended.