Covert narcissism refers to a less obvious form of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) where individuals display narcissistic traits in a more subtle and introverted manner. They may not exhibit the typical grandiosity and arrogance associated with overt narcissists, making them harder to identify. Here are some signs of a covert narcissist:
Excessive sensitivity: Covert narcissists often appear highly sensitive and easily hurt by criticism or perceived slights. They may become defensive or passive-aggressive when confronted.
Victim mentality: They frequently adopt a victim mindset and portray themselves as the ones being mistreated or misunderstood. This manipulation tactic helps them gain sympathy and avoid accountability.
Lack of self-esteem: Despite their narcissistic tendencies, covert narcissists may struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. They may seek validation and reassurance from others.
Self-centeredness: While covert narcissists may not display overt arrogance, their focus remains on their own needs, desires, and concerns. They have difficulty genuinely empathizing with others.
Control through guilt: They employ guilt-tripping as a means of controlling others. They may use emotional manipulation to make others feel responsible for their feelings or actions.
Martyr complex: Covert narcissists may exhibit a "martyr complex," in which they sacrifice their own needs or well-being to appear selfless and garner admiration or sympathy from others.
Envy and jealousy: They may secretly envy others' success or happiness and feel resentful when others receive attention or praise.
Passive-aggressive behavior: Covert narcissists may express their aggression indirectly, using passive-aggressive tactics, sarcasm, or backhanded compliments.
Lack of accountability: They often avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes or shortcomings, deflecting blame onto others or external circumstances.
Pessimism and cynicism: Covert narcissists may have a negative outlook on life and display cynical attitudes towards the world or other people.
Love bombing: Like overt narcissists, covert narcissists can engage in love bombing to initially charm and manipulate others, making them feel valued and special.
Avoiding attention: They may shun the limelight and prefer to remain in the background, subtly seeking admiration or recognition.
It's important to remember that diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder requires a qualified mental health professional. If you suspect that you or someone you know may be dealing with a covert narcissist, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and assistance in coping with such relationships.