Narcissists are individuals who have a personality disorder called narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). While not all narcissists seek conflict, many of them are more prone to engaging in and being fueled by conflict due to certain aspects of their personality and psychological makeup. Here are some reasons why conflict can be attractive and reinforcing for narcissists:
Need for Control and Power: Narcissists have an overwhelming need for control and dominance in their relationships and interactions. Engaging in conflict allows them to assert their power and maintain a sense of control over others. Conflict provides them with an opportunity to dictate the terms of the interaction and manipulate others to meet their demands.
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists crave attention, admiration, and validation from others, which is known as narcissistic supply. Conflict often generates intense emotions, reactions, and attention from people involved, which can be a source of narcissistic supply for the individual. Even negative attention or reactions can satisfy the narcissist's need for validation.
Sense of Superiority: Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are superior to others. Engaging in conflict may reinforce their belief that they are smarter, stronger, or more competent than those they are in conflict with. Winning an argument or conflict further boosts their ego and reinforces their self-perceived superiority.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists generally lack empathy, making it difficult for them to understand or consider the feelings and perspectives of others. Conflict may not bother them in the same way it does for more empathetic individuals, and they may not be as concerned about the emotional impact their actions have on others.
Need for Adversarial Relationships: Some narcissists thrive in adversarial relationships, where they can position themselves as the victim or hero and create drama and tension. Conflict can be a way for them to keep relationships tense and create an emotional roller coaster, which can be appealing to certain narcissistic individuals.
Projection of Insecurities: Narcissists often have deep-rooted insecurities and low self-esteem beneath their grandiose facade. Engaging in conflict may serve as a way for them to project their own insecurities onto others, deflecting attention away from their own vulnerabilities.
It is important to note that not all narcissists seek out conflict, and different individuals with NPD may display various behaviors and coping mechanisms. Additionally, while conflict can be reinforcing for some narcissists, it can also be destructive to relationships and harmful to the mental and emotional well-being of everyone involved. It is crucial for those dealing with narcissistic individuals to set boundaries and seek support and guidance in managing these challenging relationships.