Narcissists use stonewalling as a spiteful and powerful defense mechanism because it allows them to maintain control, avoid accountability, and protect their fragile self-image. Stonewalling is a form of emotional withdrawal and refusal to engage in communication, where the narcissist may become unresponsive, silent, or emotionally distant during conflicts or discussions.
Here are some reasons why narcissists might use stonewalling:
Control and Power: Narcissists have an overwhelming desire for control and dominance in their relationships. By stonewalling, they can manipulate the situation to exert power over others. It leaves the other person feeling frustrated, confused, and desperate for resolution, thus increasing the narcissist's sense of control.
Avoiding Responsibility: Narcissists often struggle with taking responsibility for their actions. When confronted with criticism, accountability, or uncomfortable emotions, they may stonewall to evade facing the truth and the consequences of their behavior.
Deflecting Criticism: Stonewalling allows narcissists to deflect any criticism or negative feedback directed towards them. By refusing to engage, they avoid having to address any uncomfortable truths about themselves or their actions.
Maintaining a Superior Image: Narcissists have a fragile self-esteem that relies heavily on maintaining a grandiose and superior self-image. Engaging in meaningful communication during conflicts may threaten this image, so they resort to stonewalling to protect their perceived superiority.
Creating Emotional Turmoil: Narcissists may intentionally use stonewalling as a way to emotionally manipulate and hurt others. The silence and emotional distance can cause anxiety, insecurity, and frustration in the other person, giving the narcissist a sense of power over their emotional state.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often lack genuine empathy for others' feelings and experiences. Stonewalling reflects their disregard for the other person's emotional needs and their inability to connect emotionally.
It's essential to remember that stonewalling is a toxic behavior, and healthy communication is essential in any relationship. If you find yourself dealing with a narcissistic individual who frequently uses stonewalling, it is crucial to set boundaries, seek support, and consider professional help if necessary, especially if the relationship is causing you emotional distress.