Both covert narcissists and grandiose narcissists exhibit narcissistic traits, but they do so in different ways. The distinction lies in their primary methods of seeking validation and admiration from others:
Grandiose Narcissists: Grandiose narcissists are more outwardly confident, arrogant, and boastful. They seek admiration and attention through overt displays of their supposed superiority, achievements, or special qualities. While their behavior can be challenging and disruptive, their overt nature may make it easier for others to recognize and respond to their narcissistic tendencies.
Covert Narcissists: Covert narcissists, on the other hand, are less apparent in their self-centeredness. They appear more introverted, sensitive, and even self-deprecating. They may not openly seek attention or admiration, but they still have a strong sense of entitlement and an excessive need for validation. They often manipulate others by playing the victim or using passive-aggressive tactics, making it harder for people to identify their narcissistic traits.
What makes covert narcissists particularly challenging or "worse" in some cases is the following:
Difficulty in Detection: Covert narcissists are skilled at hiding their true nature and may present themselves as victims or people with low self-esteem. This facade can make it harder for others to recognize their manipulative behaviors, and they may go unnoticed for an extended period.
Emotional Manipulation: Covert narcissists often use emotional manipulation to control and exploit others. Their passive-aggressive tactics, guilt-tripping, and playing the victim can create confusion and guilt in their targets, making it difficult for victims to assert their boundaries and break free from the toxic dynamic.
Long-Term Effects: The insidious nature of covert narcissism can lead to prolonged emotional and psychological harm to the people around them. Their manipulative behaviors can erode self-esteem, cause anxiety, and lead to emotional trauma in their victims.
Lack of Validation for Victims: When dealing with a covert narcissist, victims may struggle to gain validation and support from others, as the narcissist has effectively portrayed themselves as the "hurt" party. This lack of validation can lead to feelings of isolation and self-doubt in the victims.
It's important to note that both grandiose and covert narcissists can be challenging to deal with, and the severity of their behavior varies among individuals. Understanding the traits of narcissistic personality disorder and setting healthy boundaries is crucial when dealing with any form of narcissistic behavior, whether covert or grandiose. If someone is facing difficulties in relationships or emotional well-being due to narcissistic individuals, seeking support from a mental health professional or counselor can be beneficial.