When someone tells you that you're "guarded," they are likely observing a certain pattern of behavior or communication in you that suggests you are not fully open or transparent with your thoughts and emotions. Being guarded means you are cautious or reluctant to reveal your true feelings, opinions, or vulnerabilities to others.
People may perceive you as guarded for various reasons, and it's essential to consider the context and the specific behaviors or communication patterns they are referring to. Some common traits or behaviors that might lead others to perceive you as guarded include:
Reserved communication: You might tend to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, choosing not to share them openly with others.
Emotional restraint: You might suppress or downplay your emotions, making it challenging for others to understand how you truly feel about certain situations.
Lack of trust: You may have difficulty trusting others, which can lead you to be cautious about revealing too much about yourself.
Defensiveness: You might react defensively or put up walls when certain topics or sensitive issues are brought up in conversation.
Fear of vulnerability: Being guarded often stems from a fear of being hurt or judged, so you might be hesitant to expose your vulnerabilities.
Past experiences: Previous negative experiences, such as betrayal or emotional pain, could lead to a guarded demeanor as a protective mechanism.
It's important to note that being guarded is not necessarily a negative trait; it can be a coping mechanism that people develop to protect themselves from potential harm or emotional stress. However, in some situations, being overly guarded can hinder genuine connections and limit personal growth.
If you're not aware that you come across as guarded, it might be helpful to reflect on your communication and interactions with others. Consider if you have difficulty sharing your thoughts and feelings openly or if you tend to avoid certain topics or emotions. If you find that being guarded is causing issues in your relationships or hindering your ability to connect with others, you may want to explore the reasons behind this behavior and consider whether it's something you'd like to address or change. Self-awareness and understanding your communication style can be the first step toward making adjustments if desired.