Dealing with such a situation can be challenging, especially when it involves a family member. Here are some steps you can consider taking to address the issue respectfully and effectively:
Communicate calmly and openly: Choose a private moment to talk to your mother-in-law about the concern. Be polite and non-confrontational in your approach. Express how much you value having her around and then gently mention the toilet seat issue, explaining how it affects you and why it's important for everyone to keep the bathroom clean.
Seek to understand: Listen to her perspective as well. Maybe she has a reason for her actions, or there might be a misunderstanding. Be open to understanding her point of view and try to find a compromise that works for both of you.
Set clear expectations: Clearly communicate the standard of cleanliness you expect in the bathroom and the shared responsibilities for maintaining it. Discuss the importance of cleanliness and hygiene, making sure you're both on the same page.
Provide solutions: Offer possible solutions to address the problem. For example, you could suggest using toilet seat covers or disposable wipes, so she can easily clean up after herself. Or, if she has mobility issues, you could explore installing a bidet attachment that can help maintain cleanliness.
Lead by example: Ensure that you're also following the same standards of cleanliness in shared spaces. Lead by example, and it may encourage others in the household to do the same.
Consider other factors: If there are other underlying issues causing the problem, such as age-related difficulties or health concerns, be compassionate and sensitive in approaching the matter. You could offer support or assistance if needed.
Establish boundaries: If all else fails, consider setting boundaries, such as using separate bathrooms or agreeing on a cleaning schedule to ensure the shared bathroom remains clean.
Involve others if necessary: If you're unable to resolve the issue one-on-one, consider involving your spouse or other family members to address the concern together.
Remember, communication is key. Approach the situation with empathy and understanding, aiming for a collaborative solution that respects everyone's needs.