It's important to note that while I can provide information based on your described symptoms, only a qualified healthcare or mental health professional can provide a diagnosis.
Depression is a complex mental health disorder and it can manifest in various ways. Some people with depression may still laugh or smile, particularly if they're trying to mask their true feelings or "put on a brave face." This is sometimes referred to as "smiling depression."
Your description of often feeling overwhelmingly emotionless, sad, alone, or dead could certainly be indicative of depression. Here are some common symptoms of depression:
- Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or emptiness.
- Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, or guilt.
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you once enjoyed.
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering things, or making decisions.
- Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much.
- Changes in appetite or weight.
- Feeling tired or lacking energy.
- Feeling restless or having trouble sitting still.
- Physical symptoms that defy standard treatments, such as headaches or digestive disorders.
- Frequent thoughts of death, suicide, or self-harm.
If you're experiencing some or all of these symptoms most of the day, nearly every day for at least two weeks, it could be indicative of major depression.
However, it's crucial to remember that only a trained healthcare professional can diagnose depression or any other mental health condition. If you're experiencing these feelings, I strongly recommend that you reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted individual in your life who can help you find the appropriate resources and support.
If you ever feel that you're in immediate danger of self-harm, contact a crisis hotline immediately or go to your nearest emergency department. You don't have to go through this alone, and there are people who want to help.