Human behavior is complex, and individual differences can be influenced by a variety of factors, including genetics, upbringing, past experiences, and personality traits. It's important to recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all explanation for why people exhibit certain behaviors, and people can have unique combinations of traits and tendencies.
In your case, being a "social butterfly" but also feeling shy could be attributed to a combination of factors:
Personality Traits: People's personalities are a mix of various traits. You may have a naturally outgoing and sociable nature, which allows you to thrive in social situations and enjoy interacting with others. On the other hand, you might also possess a shy or introverted side, which can cause you to feel more reserved and uncomfortable in certain social settings.
Past Experiences: Early life experiences and social interactions can shape how individuals perceive and engage with the world around them. Positive experiences might have encouraged you to be more outgoing and confident in social settings, while negative experiences could contribute to feelings of shyness or social anxiety.
Self-esteem and Self-confidence: Differences in self-esteem and self-confidence levels can significantly impact how individuals behave in social situations. People with high self-esteem might find it easier to express themselves and be more outgoing, while those with lower self-esteem may be more hesitant or shy.
Coping Mechanisms: Being a "social butterfly" could also be a way of coping with social anxiety. Engaging in extensive social interactions may help you overcome your shyness or discomfort in certain situations by exposing yourself to them more frequently.
As for why you observe others as confident but anti-social, it's essential to remember that social behavior can vary greatly from person to person. Some individuals might appear confident on the surface but prefer to spend more time alone or in smaller social circles due to their personality type, comfort levels, or personal preferences. Introversion, for instance, is a personality trait characterized by a preference for solitude or quieter social settings, and it is perfectly normal and healthy.
It's crucial to embrace and accept your unique blend of social traits and understand that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to be. Each person's social behavior is a result of their individuality and life experiences. If you find that your shyness is causing distress or interfering with your daily life, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be beneficial. Remember, being yourself is what matters most, and being true to your authentic self will lead to more fulfilling and meaningful relationships.