It's completely understandable to experience social anxiety when engaging in conversations, especially when you have anxiety and ADHD. However, there are strategies you can use to help ease your discomfort and make social interactions more manageable. Here are some tips to help you strike up good conversations with friends:
Start Small: Begin with short, low-pressure interactions to build your confidence gradually. Instead of attempting long conversations right away, start with brief chats about simple topics.
Active Listening: Pay close attention to what your friends are saying. Actively listen and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. This can help you stay engaged in the conversation and make your friends feel valued.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Open-ended questions encourage more extended responses, making it easier for you to keep the conversation going. Questions like "What do you enjoy doing in your free time?" or "How was your weekend?" allow for more in-depth discussions.
Find Common Interests: Discover shared interests and hobbies with your friends. Talking about topics that genuinely interest you can make the conversation more enjoyable and natural.
Practice Empathy: Put yourself in your friends' shoes and try to understand their perspectives. Empathy can foster a deeper connection and make conversations more meaningful.
Practice Mindfulness: When you feel your anxiety rising during a conversation, take a moment to focus on your breath and ground yourself in the present. Mindfulness can help you stay more present and less focused on anxious thoughts.
Humor: Light-hearted humor can ease tension and make conversations more enjoyable. However, be mindful of the context and the feelings of others.
Body Language: Pay attention to your body language and that of your friends. Maintaining eye contact (but not too intense), nodding, and smiling can show your interest and engagement in the conversation.
Set Realistic Expectations: Remember that it's okay if you don't engage in every conversation perfectly. Set realistic expectations for yourself and be kind to yourself if you feel anxious.
Practice with Familiar People: Start practicing these skills with people you feel most comfortable around, such as close friends or family members. As you gain confidence, you can gradually extend your interactions to others.
Seek Support: If your anxiety is severe and affecting your daily life, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Therapy can be beneficial in addressing social anxiety and developing coping strategies.
Remember, being "normal" is subjective, and everyone has their unique way of interacting with others. Focus on being yourself and finding authentic connections with friends rather than striving for a specific notion of normalcy. Social skills take practice, so be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.