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Detaching from an abusive adult child with mental illness is a challenging and emotionally taxing decision, but sometimes it may be necessary for your own well-being and safety. Here are some steps you can consider:

  1. Seek professional advice: Before taking any significant steps, consult with a mental health professional or counselor who can provide personalized guidance based on your specific situation. They can help you understand the complexities involved and provide support during the process.

  2. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your adult child regarding what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Communicate these boundaries assertively and calmly, making it clear that you will not tolerate abuse. Stick to these boundaries consistently.

  3. Focus on self-care: Taking care of yourself is crucial during this difficult time. Engage in activities that bring you joy, spend time with supportive friends and family, and consider seeking therapy or counseling for yourself to help cope with the emotional impact of detaching.

  4. Connect with support networks: Reach out to support groups or organizations that cater to the needs of parents dealing with abusive adult children or those with mental illness. Connecting with others who have experienced similar situations can be immensely helpful and comforting.

  5. Distance yourself: If the abusive behavior continues despite setting boundaries, you may need to physically distance yourself from your adult child for a period of time. This could involve limiting contact or taking a temporary break from the relationship.

  6. Consider a professional intervention: In some cases, a formal intervention involving a mental health professional or mediator might be necessary. This can provide a safe environment for communication and offer a structured approach to addressing the issues.

  7. Protect your safety: If the abusive behavior escalates or poses a threat to your safety, do not hesitate to involve the appropriate authorities or seek legal advice to protect yourself.

  8. Find forgiveness and empathy (if possible): Remember that mental illness can be incredibly challenging for both the person suffering and their loved ones. While it is essential to protect yourself, understanding the impact of mental illness can help foster empathy and forgiveness if you choose to maintain some level of relationship.

  9. Make long-term decisions carefully: Deciding to detach from an adult child is a significant decision that may have long-lasting effects. Take the time to consider the implications and explore all potential options before finalizing your decision.

It's important to remember that every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. If you're struggling with this decision, don't hesitate to seek professional help to guide you through the process. Detaching from an abusive adult child can be emotionally complex, and having support can make a significant difference in navigating this difficult situation.

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