I can provide some general insights.
Feeling misunderstood or judged by your therapist is a valid concern, especially when dealing with traumatic experiences such as childhood PTSD. It's essential to have a trusting and supportive therapeutic relationship to work effectively through trauma and its effects.
If you feel misunderstood or judged, it's crucial to consider a few possibilities:
Communication issues: Sometimes, miscommunication or misunderstandings can occur in any relationship, including the therapeutic one. It might be helpful to discuss your feelings with your therapist openly. They should be receptive and willing to work through any misunderstandings or concerns you may have.
Therapist-client fit: Not all therapists are a perfect match for every client. Each therapist has their approach and style, and what works well for one person may not be as effective for another. It could be worth evaluating whether the therapeutic approach or style aligns with your needs and preferences.
Trauma-related sensitivity: Childhood PTSD can make individuals more sensitive to perceived judgments or criticisms. Trauma survivors may develop hypervigilance as a coping mechanism, making them more aware of potential threats or negative reactions.
Past experiences: If you have had negative experiences with authority figures or therapists in the past, it might influence how you perceive your current therapist's actions and intentions.
Emotional vulnerability: Discussing and working through traumatic experiences can bring up strong emotions, making it more challenging to process interactions with others, including the therapist.
If you're unsure whether you are being overly sensitive or if there are legitimate concerns about your therapeutic relationship, consider the following steps:
Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and the specific situations or behaviors that led you to feel misunderstood or judged. Try to identify any patterns or triggers.
Communication: Share your feelings and concerns with your therapist. An open and honest conversation about your experiences can be valuable for both of you to better understand each other's perspectives.
Seek a second opinion: If you're still unsure about the therapeutic relationship, you might consider seeking a second opinion from another therapist. They can provide a fresh perspective and help you determine if your feelings are justified or if adjustments need to be made in the therapeutic approach.
Remember that therapy is meant to be a collaborative process, and finding the right fit with a therapist is crucial for your progress and healing. Trust and empathy are vital components of a therapeutic relationship, especially when working through trauma. It's okay to advocate for yourself and explore other options if you don't feel understood or supported in your current therapeutic setting.