First and foremost, it's essential to understand that having OCD does not make you a bad person. OCD is a mental health condition characterized by intrusive and distressing thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) that are aimed at reducing the anxiety caused by these obsessions.
It's important to recognize that OCD is a medical condition, and it is not your fault that you are experiencing these thoughts and feelings. OCD is a complex disorder that involves both biological and environmental factors. Trying to "figure out" these thoughts on your own might not be the best approach, as OCD often requires professional help for effective management and treatment.
Consider seeking support from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychiatrist, who is experienced in treating OCD. They can provide you with appropriate strategies and coping mechanisms to deal with the obsessions and compulsions. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective treatments for OCD, and medication might also be considered in some cases.
Remember, it takes time and effort to address OCD, and it's okay to feel confused, angry, and guilty. These emotions are normal reactions to what you are experiencing. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work through this process.
Additionally, consider reaching out to support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who have experienced or are experiencing OCD. Sharing your thoughts and experiences with others who understand can be a source of comfort and encouragement.
Ultimately, seeking professional help and support can make a significant difference in managing OCD and improving your overall well-being. Don't hesitate to reach out for assistance from qualified mental health professionals who can help you navigate through this challenging time.