Abusers use various excuses and manipulative tactics to justify their physical abuse. These excuses are often attempts to shift blame, minimize their actions, or manipulate the victim into thinking that the abuse is somehow their fault. Here are some common excuses abusers may use:
Blaming the Victim: Abusers may say that the victim provoked the abuse or "deserved" it due to their behavior, words, or actions. They may claim that the victim's actions caused the abuser to react violently.
Minimizing the Abuse: They may downplay the severity of their actions, claiming that what they did was not that bad or that it was just a momentary loss of control.
Claiming They Were Stressed or Overwhelmed: Abusers might try to justify their actions by saying they were under a lot of stress, had a bad day, or were overwhelmed by personal problems.
Using Alcohol or Drugs as an Excuse: Some abusers may blame their abusive behavior on being under the influence of alcohol or drugs, suggesting that they were not in control of their actions.
Shifting Blame to Childhood or Past Trauma: Abusers might try to deflect responsibility by blaming their own abusive behavior on their past experiences or childhood trauma.
Saying They "Love" the Victim Too Much: Abusers may claim that they are only abusive because they love the victim too much and can't control their emotions.
Gaslighting: This is a manipulative tactic where the abuser tries to make the victim doubt their own reality, memory, or sanity. They may deny that the abuse occurred or make the victim feel like they are exaggerating or imagining things.
Using Cultural or Traditional Norms: In some cases, abusers may try to justify their behavior based on cultural or traditional beliefs about gender roles or family dynamics.
Promising It Won't Happen Again: Abusers may apologize and promise that the abuse won't happen again, using this as a way to retain control over the victim and keep them from seeking help.
It's important to remember that these excuses are not valid reasons for abuse. No one deserves to be physically harmed or emotionally manipulated by another person. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, it's essential to seek help and support to break free from the cycle of violence. Reach out to local authorities, support organizations, or helplines to get the assistance needed to ensure safety and healing.