It's not uncommon for people to feel disillusioned or upset when they experience difficult or challenging events in their lives, especially when they feel they were following a particular path or belief system. If you've had negative experiences and associate them with trying to follow God, it's natural to question your faith or distance yourself from it.
However, it's essential to recognize that life is full of ups and downs, and bad things can happen to anyone, regardless of their beliefs. Sometimes, these experiences can be opportunities for growth and learning, even though they may be difficult to endure. It's not necessarily a reflection of whether you did the right thing by following or distancing yourself from God.
Different people have various ways of finding meaning and coping with life's challenges. Some find strength, comfort, and guidance through their faith, while others may seek support from other sources or focus on personal resilience.
If you are struggling with these questions, consider seeking guidance from someone you trust, such as a close friend, family member, counselor, or a spiritual leader. Talking about your feelings and experiences can help you gain perspective and make more informed decisions about your beliefs and the path you want to take.
Remember, it's okay to explore your beliefs and spirituality, and it's essential to find what resonates with you personally. Everyone's journey is unique, and it's crucial to be compassionate with yourself as you navigate these questions and experiences.