It's crucial to understand that wanting to go back to having Anorexia Nervosa or missing the disorder is not a healthy or normal desire. It could be a sign of ongoing struggles with your mental health or unresolved issues related to your eating disorder.
Recovery from an eating disorder is a complex process, and it's not uncommon for individuals to have ambivalent feelings about letting go of their eating disorder behaviors. An eating disorder can become a coping mechanism, providing a sense of control or numbness from overwhelming emotions. However, it's essential to remember that this feeling of "missing" the disorder is not a true longing for something positive, but rather a reflection of the emotional complexities that come with recovery.
If you find yourself experiencing these thoughts and feelings, it's crucial to reach out for professional help immediately. Speak to a mental health professional with experience in treating eating disorders. They can help you work through these emotions, identify triggers, and develop healthier coping strategies.
In the meantime, here are some steps you can consider:
Reach out for support: Talk to friends, family members, or support groups about what you're going through. Sharing your feelings with people who care about you can be comforting and helpful.
Prioritize self-care: Focus on self-compassion and self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and a sense of fulfillment.
Stay connected: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who understand your journey and can be there for you during challenging times.
Identify triggers: Try to identify what might be triggering these thoughts of missing your eating disorder. Are there specific stressors or life changes that are contributing to these feelings?
Professional help: Seek professional help from a therapist, counselor, or eating disorder specialist who can guide you through the recovery process and address any underlying issues that may be contributing to your feelings.
Remember that recovery is a process, and it's okay to experience ups and downs along the way. You are not alone in this, and seeking support is an essential step towards healing and regaining control of your life in a healthy and balanced way.