Question

In what ways might contact with a person with mental illness be different from contact with a person with a visible physical stigma, and how would this difference impact the contact dynamic?

Answer 1

Narcissists have deep-seated insecurities and vulnerabilities, despite their grandiose and self-centered exterior. While exposure and the fear of having their true selves revealed can be significant concerns for narcissists, there are other fears that may affect them even more:

1. Rejection and Abandonment: Narcissists crave admiration and attention from others to maintain their inflated sense of self-worth. They fear being rejected, abandoned, or left alone, as it would challenge their belief in their superiority and specialness.

2. Being Ignored or Irrelevant: Narcissists need constant validation and attention to bolster their fragile self-esteem. Being ignored or dismissed can be deeply unsettling to them, as it threatens their perceived importance and uniqueness.

3. Intimacy and Emotional Vulnerability: Narcissists often struggle with forming genuine emotional connections with others. They fear true intimacy and emotional vulnerability because it means exposing their true selves and facing potential rejection or criticism.

4. Criticism and Failure: Narcissists have an intense need for admiration and validation. Criticism or failure can be devastating to their ego, as it challenges their belief in their exceptional abilities and perfection.

5. Being Controlled or Dependent: Narcissists desire to be in control and maintain a sense of independence and power. They fear being controlled by others or becoming dependent on someone else, as it undermines their self-image as dominant and superior.

6. Loss of Power and Influence: Narcissists often seek positions of authority and influence to reinforce their sense of superiority. Losing power or control over others can be terrifying for them, as it undermines their perceived special status.

7. Facing Their True Self: Deep down, narcissists may have an awareness of their insecurities and emptiness. Confronting their true selves and acknowledging their flaws can be an intensely frightening prospect for them.

It's essential to recognize that while these fears may impact narcissistic individuals, they are often unwilling to confront or address them directly. Narcissists may resort to defensive mechanisms, denial, and manipulation to avoid facing their fears and maintaining their facade of grandiosity. As a result, they may continue to exhibit challenging and harmful behaviors in their relationships with others.