The behavior of a narcissist can vary widely depending on their individual personality, the specific circumstances, and the dynamics of the relationship. While some narcissists may pursue their targets aggressively, others may not exhibit this behavior as prominently.
In the early stages of a relationship or during the idealization phase, a narcissist may indeed appear to chase their target enthusiastically. They can be charming, attentive, and shower the person with affection and compliments. This is often known as "love bombing" and is a manipulation tactic to draw the person in and create an emotional bond.
However, as the relationship progresses, and the narcissist's need for control and validation is met or changes, their behavior may shift dramatically. They might devalue their partner, lose interest, or even discard them abruptly without explanation.
After a discard or when the narcissist perceives that their target is pulling away, some narcissists might engage in "hoovering." Hoovering is an attempt to draw the person back into the relationship using manipulation and promises of change. This can give the impression of chasing, but it is often not a genuine desire to reconcile or change; rather, it serves the narcissist's need for control and validation.
It's important to remember that relationships with narcissists are unhealthy and emotionally draining. Whether they chase you or not, it's crucial to focus on your own well-being and consider setting boundaries or seeking professional support to navigate the complexities of dealing with a narcissistic individual. In some cases, it might be necessary to cut ties entirely for your emotional and mental health.