Yes, narcissists can compete with their own children, especially if they perceive them as a threat to their own sense of superiority or self-esteem. In some cases, narcissistic parents may view their children as extensions of themselves, valuing them based on their achievements or successes rather than as independent individuals with their own identities.
Here are some ways in which narcissistic parents may compete with their children:
Jealousy of their accomplishments: If a narcissistic parent feels threatened by their child's achievements or talents, they may become jealous and attempt to downplay or minimize the child's accomplishments. They might also feel the need to overshadow their child's achievements with their own accomplishments.
Undermining their self-esteem: Narcissistic parents may try to undermine their children's self-esteem to maintain a sense of control and dominance. They might belittle their child's efforts, dismiss their aspirations, or constantly criticize them.
Living vicariously through their children: Some narcissistic parents may see their children's achievements as a reflection of their own greatness. They might push their children into activities or careers that align with their desires rather than the child's genuine interests.
Competing for attention and admiration: Narcissistic parents often crave attention and admiration from others. If their child starts receiving attention or praise, they might feel threatened and try to divert the focus back to themselves.
Making unreasonable demands: Narcissistic parents may impose unrealistic expectations on their children, expecting them to excel in everything they do and using their successes as a means of boosting their own ego.
Withholding emotional support: Narcissistic parents may withhold emotional support or affection as a way of asserting control or punishing their children for not meeting their expectations.
It's essential to recognize that not all parents who display competitive behavior are narcissistic, and narcissism exists on a spectrum. However, if you notice patterns of unhealthy competition, emotional manipulation, or emotional abuse from a parent, it can be harmful to your emotional well-being. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can help you navigate these complex dynamics and establish healthier boundaries.