Individual experiences can vary widely, and it's essential to remember that Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) affects people differently. That being said, individuals with BPD may have intense emotions and struggles with abandonment and attachment, which can influence their feelings when their ex-partner starts dating someone new.
Here are some potential emotions and reactions a person with BPD might experience in this situation:
Abandonment fears: People with BPD often have a heightened fear of abandonment. When their ex-partner starts dating someone new, they might interpret it as a rejection or confirmation that they are not valued or worthy of love.
Intense emotions: They may experience a rollercoaster of emotions, such as anger, sadness, jealousy, and anxiety. The news of their ex's new relationship can trigger emotional turmoil and may intensify their feelings of emptiness or loneliness.
Splitting: Splitting is a defense mechanism commonly associated with BPD, where a person views others as all good or all bad, with little room for middle ground. In this case, the person with BPD might view their ex's new partner negatively, feeling that they are replacing them or taking away their happiness.
Identity issues: BPD often involves struggles with self-identity and self-worth. The ex's new relationship may lead the person with BPD to question their own value and desirability, causing them to feel even more uncertain about themselves.
Impulsivity: In some cases, the emotional distress caused by the ex's new relationship might trigger impulsive behaviors, such as reaching out to the ex, engaging in self-destructive actions, or seeking revenge.
Idealization and devaluation: People with BPD might vacillate between idealizing their ex-partner and then devaluing them. When their ex starts dating someone new, this process can intensify, leading to extreme emotions about the ex and their new partner.
It's important to remember that these reactions are not a conscious choice but are influenced by the emotional challenges that BPD presents. If you or someone you know is experiencing these feelings, it's essential to seek support from mental health professionals who can help navigate and manage these emotions in a healthy way. Building coping skills, developing healthier thought patterns, and practicing mindfulness can be helpful in managing the intense emotions often associated with BPD.