When a narcissist experiences "no contact" from someone they have been manipulating or controlling, they typically react with anger, frustration, or other negative emotions. This reaction can be attributed to several underlying factors:
Loss of Control: Narcissists crave control and power over others. When someone suddenly goes "no contact," it disrupts their ability to exert control over that person, and they become angry because they are losing their grip on the individual.
Narcissistic Injury: The rejection or abandonment inherent in "no contact" is a blow to the narcissist's fragile ego. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and may feel entitled to attention and admiration. When someone cuts off contact, the narcissist perceives it as an insult or injury to their grandiose self-image.
Lack of Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists need a constant supply of admiration, attention, and validation from others to bolster their self-esteem. When someone goes "no contact," the narcissist is deprived of this supply, and they can become angry as they feel a sense of emptiness or inadequacy.
Fear of Abandonment: Despite their arrogance and self-centeredness, many narcissists harbor deep-seated insecurities. The fear of abandonment is a common underlying fear, and when someone goes "no contact," it triggers these anxieties, leading to anger as a defense mechanism.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists struggle to understand or empathize with the emotions of others. They may not comprehend why someone would choose to distance themselves from them and may interpret it as a personal attack, further fueling their anger.
Hoovering Attempt: After the initial anger, some narcissists may try to "hoover" the person back into their life. Hoovering refers to attempts by the narcissist to re-establish contact and regain control over the individual. They might use manipulation, promises, or even threats to achieve this.
It is essential to recognize that going "no contact" is a healthy boundary-setting decision for individuals dealing with a narcissistic person in their life. The reaction of the narcissist should not dissuade the person from maintaining their boundaries, as it is often a sign that the no-contact decision was necessary for their well-being. In such situations, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial to cope with the emotional aftermath of dealing with a narcissist.