When dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it's essential to approach the relationship with empathy, patience, and understanding. While individuals with BPD can have meaningful and fulfilling relationships, there are certain things you should avoid to create a healthier and more supportive environment for both of you. Here are some things to consider:
Do not stigmatize or judge: Avoid stigmatizing or judging the person based on their diagnosis. BPD is a mental health condition, and the person is not defined solely by it.
Do not dismiss their feelings: People with BPD often experience intense emotions, and their feelings should be acknowledged and respected, even if you may not fully understand them.
Do not take things personally during mood swings: Individuals with BPD can experience rapid and intense mood swings. Remember that their emotional fluctuations are not necessarily a reflection of your actions or worth.
Avoid invalidating their experiences: Be mindful of invalidating their feelings or experiences, even if you do not agree or understand fully. Listen with empathy and validate their emotions.
Do not engage in power struggles: Avoid power struggles or escalating conflicts. Instead, focus on open communication and finding constructive solutions together.
Do not be manipulative or play mind games: Be honest and direct in your communication. Avoid manipulation or trying to provoke a reaction from the person with BPD.
Avoid sudden abandonment or ghosting: Sudden abandonment or cutting off contact can be extremely distressing for someone with BPD. If you feel the relationship isn't working, communicate your feelings clearly and respectfully.
Do not neglect self-care: Supporting someone with BPD can be emotionally demanding. Ensure you take care of your own emotional well-being and seek support when needed.
Avoid enabling destructive behavior: While it's important to be understanding, setting healthy boundaries is crucial. Avoid enabling behavior that may be harmful to either of you.
Do not ignore signs of self-harm or suicide: If your partner with BPD expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, take it seriously and seek professional help immediately.
Do not try to be their therapist: While offering support is essential, it is not your responsibility to act as their therapist. Encourage them to seek professional help and therapy if needed.
Avoid making promises you can't keep: Be mindful of making promises or commitments that you cannot fulfill. Consistency and reliability are crucial in building trust.
Remember, dating someone with BPD can be challenging, but with understanding, compassion, and open communication, meaningful and loving relationships can be developed. If you find the relationship is becoming too overwhelming or causing significant distress, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and seek guidance from a mental health professional.