Covert narcissists, like other types of narcissists, have a diminished capacity for empathy and may struggle to genuinely experience and express love in the way that most people understand it. While they might form attachments to others and engage in relationships, their motivations for doing so can be complex and self-serving.
It's important to understand that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and individuals may exhibit varying degrees of narcissistic traits. Covert narcissists, in particular, tend to be more introverted, sensitive, and self-effacing in their presentation, which can make it harder to identify their narcissistic tendencies compared to overt, grandiose narcissists.
Covert narcissists may be capable of forming attachments and displaying affection, but their love is often conditional and driven by self-interest. They may love the idea of having a partner or a family for the status and admiration it brings, rather than genuinely caring for the other person's well-being and emotional needs. They may use emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and other tactics to maintain control and keep their partners emotionally dependent.
While they may engage in loving behaviors at times, it's crucial to recognize that their capacity for true empathy and emotional connection is limited. Their actions are often geared towards serving their own ego and maintaining their self-image as opposed to fostering a deep emotional bond with others.
It's also worth noting that some narcissists may exhibit fleeting moments of vulnerability and seemingly authentic emotional connection, but these instances are usually short-lived and inconsistent. The patterns of manipulation, lack of genuine empathy, and self-centeredness tend to dominate their relationships.
Navigating a relationship with a covert narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining. If you suspect you are in a relationship with a covert narcissist, seeking support from a therapist or counselor who is experienced in dealing with narcissistic personality dynamics can be helpful in understanding the situation and making informed decisions about the relationship's future.