Covert narcissists, like other narcissistic individuals, tend to have unrealistic expectations that revolve around their need for admiration, entitlement, and a constant focus on their own needs and desires. However, covert narcissists differ from more overt or grandiose narcissists in that they present themselves as shy, humble, and even victim-like, making their expectations more subtle and manipulative. Some unrealistic expectations commonly seen in covert narcissists include:
Constant Validation and Praise: Covert narcissists crave constant validation and admiration, but they may not seek it openly like overt narcissists. They expect others to notice and appreciate their supposed modesty and self-sacrifice without explicitly expressing their needs for admiration.
Special Treatment: Covert narcissists often feel entitled to special treatment and believe that their feelings and desires should take precedence over others. They may expect people to cater to their needs without considering the needs of others.
Idealization: Covert narcissists might idealize themselves and expect others to see them as unique, sensitive, or misunderstood individuals, despite displaying behaviors that are manipulative or self-centered.
Emotional Support: They may expect others to provide unwavering emotional support and understanding without offering the same level of empathy in return. Covert narcissists often struggle to empathize with others genuinely.
Personal Sacrifices: While covert narcissists may present themselves as selfless, they can have unrealistic expectations regarding the sacrifices others should make for them. They may exploit others' willingness to help and give, while avoiding reciprocating.
Lack of Boundaries: Covert narcissists may have difficulty respecting other people's boundaries and expect others to be available to them whenever they need attention or validation.
Perfect Image: Covert narcissists might expect others to see them as flawless individuals, even if they have significant flaws or make mistakes. They fear being exposed as imperfect or flawed, leading them to carefully manage their public image.
It's important to note that not all individuals who exhibit some narcissistic traits are necessarily covert narcissists. Diagnosing a personality disorder requires a comprehensive assessment by a qualified mental health professional. If you suspect someone you know might have narcissistic traits and it's affecting your well-being, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate these complex dynamics and establish healthier boundaries.