It is possible for some covert narcissists to pretend to be experts on narcissism by claiming to have been a victim of narcissistic abuse. Covert narcissists are characterized by a more subtle and less overt display of narcissistic traits, making them seem more vulnerable or empathetic on the surface. They may use their supposed victimhood as a way to gain sympathy, attention, and control over others.
There are a few reasons why covert narcissists might adopt this role:
Attention-seeking: By presenting themselves as victims of narcissistic abuse, they can attract sympathy and attention from others, which feeds their need for validation.
Manipulation and control: Covert narcissists can use their victim status as a means of gaining control over others. They might elicit empathy to influence people into doing what they want or to gain a sense of power.
Avoiding accountability: Claiming victimhood allows them to deflect criticism or avoid taking responsibility for their own behaviors. They may use their supposed traumatic experiences to excuse their actions or garner leniency from others.
Projection: Covert narcissists may project their own narcissistic tendencies onto others. By portraying themselves as victims of narcissists, they can create a narrative that avoids self-reflection and introspection.
Playing the hero: Some covert narcissists might enjoy being seen as heroic or brave survivors, which can boost their self-esteem and self-image.
It's important to note that not everyone who claims to be a victim of narcissistic abuse is a covert narcissist. Many genuine individuals have experienced real trauma and pain due to relationships with narcissists. However, it is wise to be cautious and discerning when dealing with people who consistently present themselves as victims and seem to exploit that role for personal gain.
In general, when dealing with complex personality dynamics, it's best to approach interactions with empathy and healthy boundaries. If you suspect someone might be manipulating or exploiting others, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals.