Individuals diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can exhibit a pattern of behaviors and emotional regulation difficulties that can be puzzling to others, especially to those who are close to them. One common behavior in individuals with BPD is a phenomenon called "splitting," where they may alternate between idealizing and devaluing others, including their loved ones. Ignoring or distancing themselves from loved ones for short periods of time can be a manifestation of this splitting behavior and can be attributed to several factors:
Fear of Abandonment: People with BPD often struggle with intense fears of abandonment. To protect themselves from perceived rejection or abandonment, they may push away or ignore those they care about as a defense mechanism. The fear of being left can make them preemptively detach from others.
Emotional Instability: BPD is characterized by emotional dysregulation, where individuals may experience intense and rapidly shifting emotions. During times of emotional distress, they may withdraw or isolate themselves as a way to cope with overwhelming feelings.
Identity Issues: Individuals with BPD may have unstable self-identity and feelings of emptiness. They might pull away from others to gain a sense of independence or to avoid becoming too dependent on their loved ones for validation.
Avoiding Intimacy: Building and maintaining intimate relationships can be challenging for people with BPD due to fears of rejection or engulfment. They may withdraw from their loved ones to create emotional distance and protect themselves from perceived threats.
Test of Love: Some individuals with BPD may unconsciously test the love and commitment of their loved ones by creating distance. They might want to see if the person will chase after them, thereby validating their sense of worth.
Emotional Exhaustion: The intense emotional experiences that come with BPD can lead to emotional exhaustion. Ignoring loved ones temporarily may be a way for them to seek relief from emotional overwhelm.
Impulsivity: Individuals with BPD may act impulsively, making decisions to withdraw from others in the heat of the moment without fully considering the consequences.
It's essential to remember that each person with BPD is unique, and not all individuals with BPD will exhibit this behavior. Additionally, not all people with BPD will experience the same symptoms or react in the same way. People with BPD can benefit from therapy, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which helps them develop healthier coping mechanisms, emotional regulation skills, and improved relationships. If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties related to BPD, seeking professional help from a mental health specialist is highly recommended.