The longevity of relationships and marriages with covert narcissists compared to overt narcissists is a complex and multifaceted topic, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Whether a relationship lasts longer with a covert or overt narcissist can depend on various factors, including the individuals involved, their coping mechanisms, the level of awareness of the narcissistic traits, and the extent of the narcissistic behaviors.
Covert and overt narcissists exhibit different patterns of behavior, but both types can be challenging to be in a relationship with due to their self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and difficulty in maintaining healthy emotional connections with others. Here's how the two types differ:
Overt Narcissists: Overt narcissists display their grandiosity and sense of superiority openly. They tend to seek admiration and attention and may come across as arrogant and entitled. These characteristics can be more apparent and recognizable, making it easier for their partners to identify the narcissistic traits.
Covert Narcissists: Covert narcissists, on the other hand, are more subtle in their approach. They might present themselves as selfless, humble, or even victimized, which can make it harder for their partners to recognize their manipulative behaviors. Covert narcissists may engage in passive-aggressive tactics and emotional manipulation, making it challenging for their partners to pinpoint the source of their dissatisfaction in the relationship.
In some cases, relationships with covert narcissists might last longer because their behavior is not as overtly toxic as that of overt narcissists. The lack of awareness of their manipulative traits may lead their partners to make excuses for their behavior or stay in the relationship for longer without fully realizing the true nature of the dynamic.
However, it's important to note that the longevity of a relationship with a narcissist is not an indicator of its health or overall well-being. Staying in a relationship with a narcissist, whether covert or overt, can have significant negative effects on the partner's mental and emotional well-being. These effects can include low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, depression, and a sense of losing one's identity.
In any case, being in a relationship with a narcissist is not healthy or sustainable in the long term. If you suspect you are in a relationship with a narcissist, seeking support from a qualified therapist can help you gain clarity, set boundaries, and make decisions that are in your best interest.