It can be challenging to understand why a person's new relationship is lasting longer than a previous one, especially when there are unresolved feelings involved. It's essential to recognize that each relationship is unique and influenced by various factors. Here are a few potential reasons why your ex's new relationship might be lasting longer:
Idealization Phase: People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are known to experience intense and fluctuating emotions, which can lead to idealizing their partners during the initial stages of a relationship. This idealization phase might make the new relationship appear strong and passionate at first.
Change in Circumstances: Sometimes, a change in circumstances or personal growth can influence the success of a new relationship. Perhaps your ex and her new partner have fewer external stressors or have learned from past experiences, contributing to the relationship's longevity.
Different Dynamics: Relationships can have varying dynamics, and what works for one couple might not work for another. The dynamic between your ex and her new partner could be more compatible or less triggering than the one you had.
Individual Growth: Personal growth and self-awareness can significantly impact relationship success. It's possible that your ex or her new partner has been working on personal issues and emotional regulation, which can lead to healthier relationship dynamics.
Timing: Sometimes, the timing of a relationship can play a significant role in its success. If your ex and her new partner met during a period when they were both emotionally ready for a commitment, it could contribute to the relationship's longevity.
Social Media Perception: Keep in mind that what you observe from the outside, particularly on social media, may not reflect the true dynamics of their relationship. People often share the highlights of their lives while keeping the challenges private.
It's essential to focus on your healing and personal growth rather than comparing your past relationship to her current one. Remember that each person's journey is unique, and what matters most is finding happiness and fulfillment in your own life. If you find it difficult to cope with these feelings, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you process your emotions in a healthy way.