People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often struggle to understand and come to terms with various aspects of themselves due to the complexity of the condition and the challenges it presents. Some of the common struggles they might experience include:
Emotional Intensity: People with BPD often have emotions that feel overwhelming and intense, and they might struggle to understand why they experience emotions so intensely compared to others.
Identity and Self-Image: Individuals with BPD may have an unstable sense of self and struggle to form a consistent and coherent self-identity. They might find it challenging to understand who they are and what they want out of life.
Fear of Abandonment: One of the central features of BPD is an intense fear of abandonment, whether real or perceived. They might struggle to comprehend why they feel such extreme anxiety and panic in response to even minor perceived threats of rejection or abandonment.
Impulsivity: Many people with BPD struggle with impulsive behaviors, such as self-harm, reckless spending, or substance abuse. They might find it difficult to understand why they act impulsively despite the negative consequences.
Interpersonal Relationships: Individuals with BPD often experience difficulties in maintaining stable and healthy relationships. They might struggle to comprehend why they repeatedly face challenges with friends, family, and romantic partners.
Splitting: Splitting is a defense mechanism commonly associated with BPD, where individuals view things or people in black-and-white terms (either all good or all bad). They might have difficulty understanding why they often switch between idealizing and devaluing others, including themselves.
Self-Sabotage: People with BPD may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, such as pushing away supportive people or jeopardizing positive opportunities. They might struggle to grasp why they engage in actions that seem to hinder their own progress and well-being.
Emotional Regulation: Difficulties in regulating emotions are a hallmark of BPD. Individuals might find it hard to understand why they struggle to manage their feelings effectively and tend to have rapid and intense mood swings.
It's important to note that while people with BPD may have these struggles, they are not alone, and with proper support and treatment, they can gain insight into their condition and develop healthier coping strategies. Psychotherapy, particularly dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), has shown to be effective in helping individuals with BPD gain self-awareness, emotional regulation skills, and improved interpersonal functioning.