When individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) experience rejection by a lover or friend, their reaction can be intense and overwhelming due to their heightened emotional sensitivity and fear of abandonment. The emotional response to rejection can vary from person to person and can depend on the individual's coping mechanisms, support system, and the circumstances surrounding the rejection. Here are some common ways people with BPD might react to rejection:
Intense Emotional Response: Rejection can trigger a range of intense emotions, such as extreme sadness, anger, despair, and fear of abandonment. They may feel devastated and experience a deep sense of loss.
Fear of Abandonment: For individuals with BPD, fear of abandonment is a core feature of the disorder. Rejection can reinforce this fear and lead to frantic efforts to avoid being abandoned or left alone.
Splitting: Splitting is a defense mechanism common in BPD, where individuals perceive people or situations as all good or all bad. After rejection, they might idealize the person they were rejected by one moment and devalue them the next.
Self-Doubt and Self-Blame: Rejection can lead to intense self-doubt and self-criticism. They may blame themselves entirely for the rejection, even if it wasn't their fault.
Impulsive Behaviors: Some individuals with BPD may engage in impulsive behaviors, such as self-harm, substance abuse, or reckless actions, as a way to cope with the pain of rejection.
Desperate Attempts to Reconnect: There might be frantic efforts to reconnect with the person who rejected them, even if it's not in their best interest.
The time it takes for someone with BPD to get over rejection can vary widely and is influenced by several factors, including the individual's level of emotional regulation, support system, coping skills, and the significance of the relationship that ended. Recovery from rejection can be a challenging and gradual process. While some individuals may experience intense distress for a few days or weeks, others may take longer to work through their feelings and emotions.
It's essential for individuals with BPD to seek support from mental health professionals, friends, and family during this challenging time. Therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can be highly beneficial in helping individuals with BPD cope with rejection, regulate their emotions, and develop healthier ways of relating to themselves and others. If you or someone you know is struggling with BPD and the effects of rejection, reaching out for professional help is crucial for managing emotions and promoting overall well-being.